Counterculture: Spoon-Fed Deception

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears [has reverential awe toward] the Lord is to be praised.

This verse goes against everything pop culture and media tell us. Headlines in magazines and on news broadcast the importance of having ample charm and physical beauty while brushing aside the importance of inner beauty. Women believe they have to achieve physical perfection to ever be seen as valuable while men are also being told that the size of their muscles and how many women they can get in bed is the determining factor of their worth. 

But what about the counterculture message that is being so easily overlooked? Your physical beauty, the quality of your car, your income, what if none of that matters in the end? In Proverbs it tells us that charm is deceptive. Deceive means to mislead by a false appearance or statement. Some synonyms for deceive are: outwit, trick, entrap, ensnare, and betray. Deception leads us down a path that enables us to believe lies that we may not even know we are believing. Many forms of media have deceived us into believing that our physical beauty and our possessions are of more worth than what is inside of us. But let me tell you the truth: you are far more valuable than any physical possession on this earth. 

Your value does not come from the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the money you earn, or the compliments you get from people. Your worth comes from the Creator of the Universe, the One who breathed life into your very being. Your worth comes from the beautiful person you are without any makeup. Your worth comes from the person you are even when you have nothing to give. There aren't any achievements, awards, or praise you can earn that will improve what you are already worth. In the eyes of the Lord, you are already as valuable as you can ever be regardless of how badly you have messed up or how well you've done. 

What lies or deception has physical beauty and charm led you to believe? If you have allowed what you look like to be of more concern than who you are then it's time to step away from the deception that comes with valuing charm and physical beauty over who you are inside.

Counterculture: Rest

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ‭Matthew‬ 28:11 NLT

In my last blog I shared "Counterculture:The Importance of Celebrating Others" and I want to continue with this idea of counterculture by talking about rest. In our culture everything is fast-paced, and we constantly have advertisements, movies, and music telling us to get ahead we must constantly be on-the-go. We're told to be the best we must always be at the top of our game, and we dare never rest lest we allow someone else to get ahead.

Matthew 28:11 gets quoted so often I think we tend to dismiss taking some time to really think about the gift God is offering us in our busy, non-stop, "go-go-go" lives. Have you grown weary? Do you have some heavy burdens weighing on your shoulders? Is life overwhelming right now? Are you caught up in the lie that if you don't keep up with others that you will somehow lose?

God didn't intend for us to burn our candle at both ends until there was nothing left for us to give.

Recently, God spoke to me about taking time to REST, or otherwise have a day of Sabbath. I like to get through a day and feel like I've accomplished something other than relaxation as I'm sure many of us do. I found myself striving to achieve multiple things as I went through every day of the week and I quickly found that I was getting burned out. It was then that I realized that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I accomplish, I can never do it all on my own.

The Lord says, "Come to me." He didn't say, "Run as fast as you can, achieve everything in your strength, and keep going until there is nothing left in you." He said, "Come to me...and I will give you rest". Trying to bear your burdens on your own will wear you out quickly, but going to the Lord in prayer will give you the rest and strength you need to keep going.

Think about a time when you were on your feet all day and you finally got home and got to sit in a chair for the first time in hours. Your back aches, your feet are sore, and your entire body seems to be aching in one way or another. When you finally get to sit down, the feeling of relief floods over you and pressure releases. That's what it is like when instead of bearing all the weight of heavy burdens ourselves, we go to God.

I'm not suggesting that there will no longer be burdens that we carry, but it will ease the pressure. God says He will give us rest. When we sleep, we wake up ready for a new day. In the same way, God offers to give us the rest we need to keep going.

Counterculture: The Importance of Celebrating Others

Can you remember a time when you caught yourself thinking, "I should be the one..."? I should be the one to get the raise. I should be the one to get the compliments. I should be the one to receive the thanks. I should be the one. In our selfie, me-driven culture, it isn't against the norm to, above all else, think of "number one". But, have you ever met people who promote and serve others above themselves? It's refreshing. 

Maybe it's in the form of a conversation where the other person seeks to ask about how you are doing before filling you in on everything concerning their life, or maybe it's a person who celebrates with you even when they have nothing to celebrate. I think the most effective way of overcoming jealousy and the urge to want to impress people with our accomplishments is to celebrate others. It's hard. Especially when all you want to do is complain about how she always gets the attention or he enjoys the promotion that you worked hard to get. However, I've found from personal experience many times that it makes me feel better when I take the time to re-orient my perspective and genuinely rejoice with those around me. It also encourages and uplifts the one you are celebrating. Have you been caught in the middle of "what if land" today or recently? Maybe it's time you really thought about how celebrating others can improve your attitude and your perspective. It feels good to have people who will celebrate you; your accomplishments, your dreams, your life. So why not take the time (and maybe even the money) to do for someone else what you want done for you? Take the time to celebrate others.

Life and College Algebra

It's so interesting to me the experiences one can go through in life and the valuable lessons that come out of unexpected situations. For me, some unexpected life lessons came in the form of one of my college classes...college algebra. 

To give you some context, this fall semester was my first step back into the world of education since high school. Having taken two years off after high school (two years I wouldn't trade), I decided to go back to school. All of my education to this point had been fairly easy for me, I excelled academically all throughout school and never had to work really hard for the grades I wanted. There was a very rude awakening headed my way. In the first week of my college algebra class, I was overwhelmed and feeling anything but prepared for the semester ahead of me. In the midst of completing a ridiculous amount of homework for the first test we were going to have in two weeks, I considered dropping the class and getting my refund. I thought, "why stay in a class I think I'm going to fail anyway?" However, I decided to stick with it and I am so glad I did. Here are some of the lessons I learned:

1. Giving up because you think you will fail is already a failure. 

Before I had even given myself a chance to think about the "what if I succeed," I was already thinking about the chance at failure. I didn't know I would fail, I just thought I would and that scared me. I didn't want to fail a class my first semester (or at all). But I realized along the way that trying and failing is whole lot better than never trying at all. Also, what if I were to succeed?

2. Hard work pays off.

As I said above, I never really had to work for my grades in elementary, middle or high school. I quickly realized to pass the class and get the grade I wanted, I would need to work hard; put in hours that I could be spending doing other things, study when instead I wanted to go to bed, and most importantly apply myself whole-heartedly to something that wasn't my most favorite.

3. We are so much more capable than we give ourselves credit for.

I had written myself off as not even passing the class from the very first day. However, throughout the semester I worked hard, received help, and exceeded even what I knew I could do. At the beginning I thought, "I'll be lucky if I even pass this class," but as time went on, I realized I was accomplishing a whole lot more than that small expectation. I ended the class with a B and finished toward the top of my class. When we set our minds to something and believe in our ability, we can do a lot more than when we limit ourselves to small thinking.

5 Free Gifts You Can Give This Christmas

1. Love
It seems cheesy and so cliche but it truly is one the greatest gifts we can give to others. Some of the most memorable moments in my life are times when someone went out of their way to say or show that they love me. Whether it was a card that expressed their love, a simple gift that said they were thinking of me, or hug that says they care.

2. Joy
Have you ever been around someone that exudes joy from every pore? It's refreshing and uplifting to be around those kinds of people. This holiday season CHOOSE JOY. Choose joy when the employee at the cash register has a bad attitude, choose joy when that one person you can't stand finds you in the store to say hello, choose joy when you burn the pie you were supposed to bring to the family dinner- simply choose joy. Those around you will be encouraged by the simple choice you make- JOY.

3. Humility
Christmas can tend to bring out the competitive side of us. We want to out-do and out-buy everyone else. However hard it is for you to simply do what you can do and be satisfied with it, try this season to be humble. When humility is a part of your character, others feel at peace with who they are around you. Let others be ushered into a presence of less striving to be someone they're not and more being who they are.

4. Friendship
Those who find a true friend, find a treasure. You have so much to offer someone who is lonely and need of companionship-the gift of friendship. So many people are more lonely than ever in the holiday season and it is your opportunity to come alongside a lonely soul and offer a listening ear, a place at your dinner table, and a sense of belonging.

5. Jesus
Do you know some people who are lost and searching for answers? Jesus is the answer and He is the reason for this holiday season. Now is a perfect time to invite them to church or to tell them about the One who can fill the void of emptiness in their heart. Jesus is the greatest gift we can all receive this Christmas as we embrace the love and hope he offers us.

Feel the Pain

Recently I heard lyrics to a song called, "Habits (Stay High)" by Tove Lo. I was shocked to hear the graphic description of how to avoid the pain and heartbreak that occurs in life. Here are some of the lyrics:

"You're gone and I gotta stay
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Spend my days locked in a haze
Trying to forget you babe
I fall back down
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh"

Have we really bought the lie that staying high is a healthy way to avoid pain or the problems going on in our lives? I hope not, but this generation is being bombarded with these kind of lyrics and they are buying it (figuratively and literally). They're told to numb the pain, numb negative emotions through drugs, alcohol and sex. However, the thing the media isn't saying is that it creates more problems for the individual after coming off of that high or attempt at numbing the pain. Numbing the pain only works for a little while. John Greene says, "Pain demands to be felt" and I agree with him. Until we deal with the problems going on in our lives and feel the impact of the pain, we will never move past it. When we we numb negative emotions, we numb the positive ones with it. I think it's more effective to convey that pain is meant to be felt, that it is healthy to walk through pain without avoiding the side effects. 

It's Your Choice

I've been creating and writing this blog for about 3 years now and as I think about all the things that I've written about and shared with you, I realize that all of my posts have been lessons I'm learning as I go about my daily life. Some things small and others big, but lessons nonetheless. I enjoy writing and sharing the things that I am learning with you in hopes that I can offer encouragement and hope. 

I want to say thank you to all of you that have constantly supported me and taken the time to read my blog posts, it means so much to me. 

I'm in one of those seasons of life where I am learning so many necessary life lessons that help me grow and become a better version of myself. Even though it is difficult, I wouldn't change the circumstances to avoid the lessons that I'm learning along the way. One of those lessons is the choice that I have on a day-to-day basis to choose my attitude and my perspective about my life and the things that happen. I have a conscious decision to choose a negative or positive reaction and to see the negative or positive things in people and circumstances. I get the choice to choose joy over sadness, love over hate, grace over blame, and peace over anxiety. There's a quote that perfectly sums up what I've been learning and it says, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."