Life and College Algebra

It's so interesting to me the experiences one can go through in life and the valuable lessons that come out of unexpected situations. For me, some unexpected life lessons came in the form of one of my college classes...college algebra. 

To give you some context, this fall semester was my first step back into the world of education since high school. Having taken two years off after high school (two years I wouldn't trade), I decided to go back to school. All of my education to this point had been fairly easy for me, I excelled academically all throughout school and never had to work really hard for the grades I wanted. There was a very rude awakening headed my way. In the first week of my college algebra class, I was overwhelmed and feeling anything but prepared for the semester ahead of me. In the midst of completing a ridiculous amount of homework for the first test we were going to have in two weeks, I considered dropping the class and getting my refund. I thought, "why stay in a class I think I'm going to fail anyway?" However, I decided to stick with it and I am so glad I did. Here are some of the lessons I learned:

1. Giving up because you think you will fail is already a failure. 

Before I had even given myself a chance to think about the "what if I succeed," I was already thinking about the chance at failure. I didn't know I would fail, I just thought I would and that scared me. I didn't want to fail a class my first semester (or at all). But I realized along the way that trying and failing is whole lot better than never trying at all. Also, what if I were to succeed?

2. Hard work pays off.

As I said above, I never really had to work for my grades in elementary, middle or high school. I quickly realized to pass the class and get the grade I wanted, I would need to work hard; put in hours that I could be spending doing other things, study when instead I wanted to go to bed, and most importantly apply myself whole-heartedly to something that wasn't my most favorite.

3. We are so much more capable than we give ourselves credit for.

I had written myself off as not even passing the class from the very first day. However, throughout the semester I worked hard, received help, and exceeded even what I knew I could do. At the beginning I thought, "I'll be lucky if I even pass this class," but as time went on, I realized I was accomplishing a whole lot more than that small expectation. I ended the class with a B and finished toward the top of my class. When we set our minds to something and believe in our ability, we can do a lot more than when we limit ourselves to small thinking.

5 Free Gifts You Can Give This Christmas

1. Love
It seems cheesy and so cliche but it truly is one the greatest gifts we can give to others. Some of the most memorable moments in my life are times when someone went out of their way to say or show that they love me. Whether it was a card that expressed their love, a simple gift that said they were thinking of me, or hug that says they care.

2. Joy
Have you ever been around someone that exudes joy from every pore? It's refreshing and uplifting to be around those kinds of people. This holiday season CHOOSE JOY. Choose joy when the employee at the cash register has a bad attitude, choose joy when that one person you can't stand finds you in the store to say hello, choose joy when you burn the pie you were supposed to bring to the family dinner- simply choose joy. Those around you will be encouraged by the simple choice you make- JOY.

3. Humility
Christmas can tend to bring out the competitive side of us. We want to out-do and out-buy everyone else. However hard it is for you to simply do what you can do and be satisfied with it, try this season to be humble. When humility is a part of your character, others feel at peace with who they are around you. Let others be ushered into a presence of less striving to be someone they're not and more being who they are.

4. Friendship
Those who find a true friend, find a treasure. You have so much to offer someone who is lonely and need of companionship-the gift of friendship. So many people are more lonely than ever in the holiday season and it is your opportunity to come alongside a lonely soul and offer a listening ear, a place at your dinner table, and a sense of belonging.

5. Jesus
Do you know some people who are lost and searching for answers? Jesus is the answer and He is the reason for this holiday season. Now is a perfect time to invite them to church or to tell them about the One who can fill the void of emptiness in their heart. Jesus is the greatest gift we can all receive this Christmas as we embrace the love and hope he offers us.

Feel the Pain

Recently I heard lyrics to a song called, "Habits (Stay High)" by Tove Lo. I was shocked to hear the graphic description of how to avoid the pain and heartbreak that occurs in life. Here are some of the lyrics:

"You're gone and I gotta stay
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Spend my days locked in a haze
Trying to forget you babe
I fall back down
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh"

Have we really bought the lie that staying high is a healthy way to avoid pain or the problems going on in our lives? I hope not, but this generation is being bombarded with these kind of lyrics and they are buying it (figuratively and literally). They're told to numb the pain, numb negative emotions through drugs, alcohol and sex. However, the thing the media isn't saying is that it creates more problems for the individual after coming off of that high or attempt at numbing the pain. Numbing the pain only works for a little while. John Greene says, "Pain demands to be felt" and I agree with him. Until we deal with the problems going on in our lives and feel the impact of the pain, we will never move past it. When we we numb negative emotions, we numb the positive ones with it. I think it's more effective to convey that pain is meant to be felt, that it is healthy to walk through pain without avoiding the side effects. 

It's Your Choice

I've been creating and writing this blog for about 3 years now and as I think about all the things that I've written about and shared with you, I realize that all of my posts have been lessons I'm learning as I go about my daily life. Some things small and others big, but lessons nonetheless. I enjoy writing and sharing the things that I am learning with you in hopes that I can offer encouragement and hope. 

I want to say thank you to all of you that have constantly supported me and taken the time to read my blog posts, it means so much to me. 

I'm in one of those seasons of life where I am learning so many necessary life lessons that help me grow and become a better version of myself. Even though it is difficult, I wouldn't change the circumstances to avoid the lessons that I'm learning along the way. One of those lessons is the choice that I have on a day-to-day basis to choose my attitude and my perspective about my life and the things that happen. I have a conscious decision to choose a negative or positive reaction and to see the negative or positive things in people and circumstances. I get the choice to choose joy over sadness, love over hate, grace over blame, and peace over anxiety. There's a quote that perfectly sums up what I've been learning and it says, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." 

A Story Worth Telling

I was reminded again this morning just how powerful stories are. New Life Church had the privilege of hearing Ron and Lynette Lewis's story. If you haven't heard their story I encourage you to look it up and be inspired. The way they give glory to God and whisper hope into the hearts of those listening infuses life into the room. 

Stories have a way of connecting, touching and transforming. Stories unfold in movies that we love, stories come to life in books that we read, and stories are being built in our own lives and the lives of everyone around us. Stories. Have you ever taken the time to think about how your story can impact lives? Before you get to thinking about all the ways your story isn't exciting or worth telling, think of the ways you connect with someone else's story. Is it the way they had things all together at every moment of every day? Is it the way they never made mistakes or revealed their vulnerability? Probably not. We connect with stories of real humans living real and sometimes messy life. People who don't always have it all together and admit it. Don't you think your story has some piece of wisdom or hope for someone else to grab hold of? Your story matters, your voice matters. You will never know the impact of sharing your story with others until you do it. Your story just might connect with the heart of another and let them know their story is not over, there are still chapters to be written. You have no idea what hangs in the balance of someone who needs to hear what your story has to offer. Share your story, it's worth telling. 

Eye Contact

Matthew 14:29-31 Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water."

“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

God has been using the story of Peter walking on water to teach me how to navigate difficult situations or seasons of life. The key thing that He's been pointing out about this story is the part where Peter "saw the wind". For Peter to see the wind he had to have taken his eyes off of Jesus and been overwhelmed with the obstacle he saw- and because he took his eyes off of Jesus he was afraid and began to sink. When I start to feel overwhelmed with a situation or just with life in general, I feel Jesus calling me to keep my eyes fixed on him. When I begin to sink I call out, "Lord, save me!" and Jesus reaches out his hand and catches me and says, "You of little faith, why did you doubt? Why did you take your eyes off of me?" It's a trend. Every time I take my eyes off my Jesus, I feel afraid, I doubt and I begin to sink. But all it takes for me to get back on track is to re-fix my gaze on Jesus. He is peace. He is strength. He is guidance. He is comfort. He is my future. And the best way we can avoid sinking in life is to keep our eyes fixed on His. 

God Does the Guiding

Everyone has an opinion. About almost everything. I've found this to be especially true as I've been navigating the direction my life is going and the decisions I have to make to get me going that way. "You should do [fill in the blank]" or "No, you should do [fill in the blank]." The voices of people I love and respect and even those of acquaintances and random strangers are rolling around in my mind fighting for control of the decision I should make. 

I'm not saying that we should disregard what others have to say or the advice they have to give. The Bible is clear that we are to seek wisdom and correction from those that are wiser and more experienced than we are. However, when we begin to go along with what other people are saying without praying and taking into consideration what God is saying then there is a problem. Aside from missing what God has directed us to do, we are also going to end up disappointing someone in our lives because not every person we want to please has the same opinion about what we should do. In Psalm 118:8, it says, "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust humans." If we base all of our decisions off of what other people say without listening to what God is telling us to do, we will end up far from where we're supposed to be with little or no peace, anxiety, confusion, frustration, etc. Things don't end well when we're so caught up with what other people think and what we can do to please them. Sometimes we have to make a decision based on what God is saying and what is best for the situation and that isn't always going to satisfy the people we love and respect and that is OK. You do you. 

I'm not sharing this with you because I have it all figured out or because I've grown a whole lot in this area. I'm sharing this with you because I don't have it all figured out and I'm still learning and growing as I go. I'm sharing this because I want you to know that you aren't alone. I think we all have the desire to be accepted for who we are, what we decide to do and what we don't decide to do with our lives. We want to belong. But sometimes the things God calls us to do are not going to be widely accepted, they aren't going to be seen as the best choice. Bob Goff posted a quote the other day that said, "Tell people who they are, not what they want. We do the loving; God does the guiding." Let's allow God to do the guiding. When we are in the center of people's will for our lives there's only striving and performance; when we're in the center of God's will for our lives there's peace and rest.