Throughout the Bible there are stories of God's very clear presence in the lives of His people. He spoke to Moses through a burning bush, he spoke to Mary through an angel, Joseph heard from him in a dream, and the woman at the well spoke to Jesus in the flesh. But what about now and what about us? It’s easy to assume that God is absent, disinterested or disconnected from our lives because we don't hear about burning bush encounters or in-person visits from Jesus. I was thinking about these things and doing my best to believe that God was listening to me during a big transition in my life.
I experienced His voice in a unique and powerful way within a few months of moving to Colorado Springs from Montana. I moved there to become a student in New Life Church's School of Worship program. Having grown up in Montana my whole life, transitioning to Colorado was a fish-out-of-water feeling for the first few months. I was used to the comfortable and familiar people and surroundings of my hometown. My entire senior year I had been praying for God to tell me what to do next, to give me a sign or to at least say something, anything. But I never heard him speak, I didn’t even get a feeling that what I was pursuing was right. Regardless, I did what I thought was right. I didn’t know anyone in Colorado and as I was trying to establish relationships and discover why I had even moved, I still didn’t hear God’s voice. “God, do you hear me?” I found myself asking quite frequently. Silence. I felt so alone. I felt like He had turned His back on me and with that feeling came a sinking sense that He also had no clue where I was at physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
I attended Women of Faith in Denver a couple weekends into my move to Colorado. I was reluctant to go because I was really struggling and attending an event with thousands of other women I didn’t know was not high on my list of things I wanted to do. However, I agreed to go. I can’t tell you who spoke that weekend, who led worship or who I was sitting next to. I do remember one woman that I met and how she made an impact in my life. Her name was Jamie. Jamie, a few other women, and I went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch after one of the sessions but we weren’t able to get cheesecake before we had to get back for another session. She discovered I had never had cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory and later went back and got me some cheesecake and brought it to me at the end of the weekend. It seems like a small, insignificant gesture but to me it meant a lot. A little while later, I received a text from her. She told me that she felt like the Lord wanted her to tell me that I am seen and known, that God was aware of where I was and what I was going through. I was blown away. I didn't tell her what I was thinking inside and I had just met her.
It didn't end there. The next day I went to class and sat next to Cyndi like I had grown accustomed to doing. Between classes I went outside of the room and came back to a handwritten note in my open notebook. I had to read it a few times to make sure I wasn’t inserting words I wanted to be there. Her note said almost the same exact thing that Jamie had said the day before. I was starting to feel like someone was writing out my thoughts on pages for people around me to see.
Still, it didn't end there. The next day during our chapel worship time, Laura, one of the second year interns of School of Worship, came up to me at the closing of worship and said that she felt a nudge from God to come and tell me that He sees me and to give me a hug. Laura was not my leader and she didn’t know a whole lot about me, especially what I was feeling or thinking inside. I was feeling even more like I was being watched or tracked by a group of people that had maybe had a meeting about me with inside information.
At this point I had received the same exact message through three different people in the time frame of three days. After my encounter with Jamie I figured she was just being courteous to a young girl who had just made a big transition and was trying to make my life a little easier with some sugar and kind words. I rationalized the message from Cyndi was a coincidence that two people would say similar things in two days. But after speaking to Laura, there was only one explanation; God was speaking. I heard His voice loud and clear. He was chasing me down and letting me know that even though I had felt abandoned, He was right beside me.
Even though I didn’t have a face-to-face conversation with God, I recognize now that He is living and breathing in the lives of my friends, family, acquaintances, and yes, complete strangers. He sounds a little bit like Jamie, Cyndi, and Laura. I find myself listening a little closer and expecting to hear the unique forms of God’s voice from the people around me. Maybe you have experienced a similar situation and are questioning whether God is speaking to you. He often chooses to use broken and imperfect people to deliver His messages. Regardless of how He speaks, know He is still speaking and if we will take the time to listen we will find He's closer than we realize.
